TITLE: Beanblossom Versus Bombastic Bandits
GENRE: MG mystery
Up until that fateful Friday the Thirteenth, Jacob Beanblossom's claim to fame had been the ability to fart on cue.
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92 comments:
YES. It is funny and it makes me wonder what happened that Friday the 13th.
Yes. I had to put myself into the mindset of the intended audience, but once I did that, I could see how this line would grab the reader.
Yes. This is amusing and hints at more that will keep me going.
Yes. I can see MG readers digging the humor and have to admit, I'm a little intrigued myself.
Yes, this was funny.
Yes because it makes me wonder what his new claim to fame will be.
Yes. You would have an MG reader hooked with that.
Yes. This made me chuckle. I also really liked your title.
Yes. Appropriate middle grade humor.
No. My son would laugh and read it, but I'm turned off by potty humor.
Yes. His name is beanblossom and he farts on cue.
Yes. This made me laugh.
Yes. While it doesn't appeal to me, I'm sure it would appeal to my kids.
YES. I want to know what happened. Did he stop being able to fart on cue? Did some other ability show up? And what does it have to do with Friday the 13th?
Yes, it made me giggle.
No. It's funny, but I can't tell if the events of this friday the 13th means that he will no longer be able to fart on cue, or if he will from then on have a more important claim to fame.
Yes. But I might consider changing the word Fateful. I almost stopped reading because I thought it was going to take a generic turn but then the end of the sentence was like POW!
Yes. I think it has great voice for MG.
YES! Hilarious and sets a great tone.
No. But probably just a taste thing. Really not into farting on cue.
Yes. While "farting on demand" isn't high on my "List of things I find appealing," this is funny and intriguing.
Yes. It's funny, and I like the voice.
Yes.
It works for MG. Anything else and I'd say no in a heartbeat. Farts don't exactly interesting me, but of course, in this case, that's not the point.
Yes. For MG, farting on cue is giggle-worthy, and that's usually enough to keep kids reading... and okay, I giggled, too.
Yes. Because it will appeal to its intended audience. But I expect the next sentences to move us forward in the story, not expand on his farting ability.
yes. strong voice and wry humor already
Yes. I have the feeling my students would love this already. Great voice.
Oh yes, because I never grew up and can appreciate unusual talents.
Yes for the simple reason it made me laugh.
Yes. I need to know what his new talent is.
Yes. If this was YA, I would say no, but as a MG novel, this will probably catch several MG readers attention.
Yes. This fits the intended audience perfectly.
No. Like someone else said, it's a taste thing.
Yes. It's a weird enough statement to capture my attention of only for a few more lines.
Yes. Love the voice, love the title and the names. It's got character and a quirky voice.
No. Probably just not my genre; not really amused or interested in that 'talent'.
Yes. Children love farts. I don't know why, but it's true nevertheless.
Yes, for MG readers and the great name Jabob Beanblosson
Yes. I totally snort-laughed, and that was BEFORE I saw it was MG! Great voice.
Yes. Farting is funny.
Yes. Has the premonition prevalent in middle grade writing and the level of humor would definitely appeal to kids, I'd think.
YES - Made me laugh & seems like great MG voice.
Yes. It you up for something more and perfect for MG.
Yes, it's funny and seems appropriate to the genre.
No. There's something off=-putting for me about the words "that fateful Friday the Thirteenth." It feels forced.
Yes, seems funny and appropriate for the intended audience.
Yes
Seems quirky and fun.
Yes - this has "boy" written all over it...
Yes! Funny, and love the appropriate name, Beanblossom.
Yes.
Great MG voice and humor right off the bat. Win win.
No. Not fond of scatology. The title makes me fear the story is built around the fart joke.
Yes. While I normally don't go for potty humor, this is quirky enough to make me keep reading.
Yes. It's funny, and gives me an insight into the importance of Friday the 13th and the character's development.
Yes. I want to know what the new claim to fame is, and why that particular Friday the 13th was "fateful."
No, personal taste.
Yes. Great MG voice, plus it's intriguing.
Yes. I like the name and in how this person will surpass his prior claim to fame.
Yes. I agree that it's great for MG. The repetition of 'f' either intrigues me and enhances the giggles or turns me off with its over-doing-it silliness, not sure which, though.
Yes. This is funny and attention grabbing in a non-obvious way (as in not JUST to shock the reader). Farting is right on track for MG readers, too.
Yes, it has a distinct voice.
Yes, but I'd take out Friday the 13th reference and simply say "Jacob Beanblossom's claim to fame used to be the ability to fart on cue." The connection to date can come next.
Yes. It made me laugh, and it makes me want to know more about this character.
Yes, if I were the target audience, because it appeals to the gross humor of their age!
Yes. But I'd get rid of the word fateful.
Yes. I'm not that into farts, but most middleschoolers are. Suggests humor and a strong voice.
Yes. It's funny--who doesn't love a good fart story? :)
Yes. It left me puzzled... but I was smiling, and when I read the title, it made me think I'd be interested to read more, for the humor. Though it did make me think I'd be reading paranormal until I read the punchline and the title.
Yes. Perfect for a MG audience.
Yes. But only because my three MG sons would laugh themselves sick over this. *rolls eyes*
Yes. I would have said no, until I noticed it was MG, it's perfect for that genre.
YES! LOL, like Holly said: children love farts for some completely unfathomable reason. This works perfectly for MG. I can imagine my brother dying of laughter over this... ;)
Yes - his name and the fart made me smile - always enough to make me read on.
Yes - you had me at a superstitious day paired with flatulence!
Yes! Definitely grabbed my attention.
Yes. You had me at Beanblossom.
Yes. It made me smile.
Yes. It targets the audience well and shouldn't be over-analyzed.
Yes. Love this. Can't say it enough. It's funny, his name is fantastic, and use of the crude, cut-and-dry word 'fart' is perfect
Yes. Very funny that it's both his claim to fame and a terrible talent to lose on Friday the 13th
Yes.
Good MG voice and humor. I like the funny claim to fame and the hint that bigger ambitions are on their way. Also, Beanblossom + fart.
No. I'm not a fan of opening with farts. But then again I don't read a lot of MG.
Yes. Funny and it will definitely appeal to your audience.
No. It tells me about before. It doesn't tell me about now.
No. MG should offer kids more than potty talk. I know they like it, but that doesn't mean it's good for them.
No. Unappealing and disjointed.
No. The potty humor didn't bother me n the slightest. I think it was the alliteration that bothered me, so it was the execution rather than the concept.
Yes, I can't resist (potty) humor
Yes. This is the perfect opening line for a MG (especially for boys).
Yes. I love boy humor!
I want to say yes, because it's very funny, but I always find 'fateful' a jarring cliche, so no. (Sorry!)
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