Wednesday, August 8, 2012

August First Line Grabber #10

TITLE: The Memory Jug
GENRE: YA

I was the second person in my family to get struck by lightning.

83 comments:

Heidi said...

Yes. Family-based, statistically unlikely natural occurrences make me hope for magical realism, which I like.

Lanette said...

Yes. Sounds fun and quirky.

Lydia Netzer said...

Yes. I immediately want to see a scene -- the first person getting struck, this person getting struck... and because getting struck by lightning is inherently interesting I automatically feel like this narrator has a good story to tell me.

alicenicole said...

Yes. It's rare to be struck by lightning, and extraordinary to be the second in the same family to have been struck. I also love that the narrator is one of the victims, I automatically trust that he/she will explain the mystery behind the lightning strikes.

erin said...

Yes. I like the voice right off the bat, and starting with family gives it a really warm feel for me.

B.E. Sanderson said...

Yes. But I'm kind of meh about it. I want to know more, but it better deliver within the next couple sentences.

Roan said...

Yes. Very intriguing. It doesn't give anything away, but the first sentence is still very understandable.

Stacey Hays said...

Yes. I want to know how that is even possible.

Kelly Allan said...

Yes. I want to know what the connection is with MC's character and lightning.

Ellie Heller said...

Yes. The addition of just the little bit of back story here boosts this up to intriguing.

Judy Mintz said...

Yes. Absolutely want to know more.

Stephanie Garber said...

No. I have a hard time with sentences like this because they are usually followed by a lot of backstory. It also makes me think of STRUCK.

Janice Sperry said...

Yes. I'd like to know more about the family.

janealfalor said...

Yes. Sounds like there's something interesting going on here..

Stacey Trombley said...

Yes. Interesting, I want to know more. Simple as that.

Anonymous said...

No. Using the word "was" made it too passive for me, even if I was intrigued - if you'd written it "I am the second person..." I might feel a little more attached to the mc.

Shakier Anthem said...

Yes. Definitely a unique first line, and I'm curious to know more.

ElectraCute said...

Yes. Low probability events can be interesting.

Susie said...

Yes, I want to hear about this family.

Kathleen said...

YES because what is it about her family that people get struck by lightning? AND how did she survive?!?

Becky Mahoney said...

Yes! Love it. Simple and to the point.

misstante said...

yes. i immediately want to know this story

Amanda H said...

Yes. Almost implies that getting struck by lightning is genetic, though of course it's not. Original, and I want to read on.

Charlee Vale said...

No. It reminds me of another book. Sorry.

Emma said...

Yes, strange and interesting.

A.J. said...

Yes, I want to know what happened with both lightning strikes.

Holly Bodger said...

Yes, although I'm not sure about the past tense. Is the narrator dead?

Dee said...

Yes. Has me curious right from the get-go. Why did this happen and what does it mean?

Chro said...

Yes. This doesn't really tell me what's going on, but I'm interested enough by the uniqueness of this to read at least until the end of the first page.

Milhaud said...

Yes. I would read on!

DJ said...

Yes, because you know there's a story there.

Alaina said...

Yes, because I want to know how that happened.

Bill Scott said...

Yes. I need to know more.

Lori Alexander said...

Yes. I would read on.

Utsav said...

Yes, awesome line. Way to play on Lightning strikes twice.

Plumbago said...

Yes.

I want to know if both lived and if they got superpowers or were injured.

But offhand I can think of two recent titles that have a similar premise so this really needs to standout.

And I sure hope the next lines aren't backstory.

Vicki Tremper said...

YES. You were struck by lightning? And it's already happened in your family? Yeah, I want to know the details.

SMKrafty said...

Yes. Immediate curiosity about being the second in the family.

Jade said...

Yes
Made me laugh - nice humor.

JaneDoe said...

Yes. Good start.

zolosolo said...

Yes. Getting struck by lightning is an okay start but 'second person' grabbed me.

A Little Push said...

Yes, interesting idea, but the first line is just telling, instead of showing us anything about the scene.

Stephsco said...
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R.A.Desilets said...

Yes, but also borderline no.

Depending on the premise of your story as a whole - genre "YA" doesn't give me much there - will really make this a yes for me.

In short, yes.
In length, I'd really like to know the specific genre.

Stephsco said...

Yes, I am intrigued about the lightning and I want to see how it relates to the title.

Jillian Kuhns said...

Yes, it's a unique start and I'd like to see where the story goes.

Heather Hawke said...

Yes - I'm intrigued to find out whether this is a coincidence or not.

Margot Galaway said...

Yes. I immediately wanted to know why that fact is relevant,and if it meant physical lightning or metaphorical lightning.

Shannon Schuren said...

Yes. I definitely want to know more about both lightning strikes.

Leah Petersen said...

Yes. Made me laugh and want to know more.

GK Hayes said...

Yes. Could go in so many different directions. Very intriguing. I would almost HAVE to read more.

Jasmine said...

Yes.
Funny and interesting :)

Melinda said...

Yes, simple, but interesting.

Marianne Su said...

Yes. This grabs my interest to keep reading.

foxfyre said...

Yes. This hints at there being a reason for her family to be lightning-strike-prone, and I'd like to see what it is. I hope it doesn't immediately launch into flashbacks and bog down.

Kelsey (Dominique) Ridge said...

Yes. It's not a hard yes, but the idea amused me, and so I'd keep going to see if it stayed interesting.

The REALLY Real Curious Crow said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Petre Pan said...

Yes--this doesn't happen every day, and I already know a little about the story's plot.

Brad Strickland said...

I'd volt for this!

Shiela Calderón Blankemeier said...

YES! Statistically unusual and intriguing. Great job!

jedlight said...

Yes. Who was the first? Unusual x 2. The author has my interest.

The REALLY Real Curious Crow said...

Yes. Sometimes there's not a clear reason why something grabs me. This just did. It's to the point, different, and I want to know the story, not only of this character, but of the one who met up with lightning first.

Anita Saxena said...

Yes. How often does that happen?!?

sbibb said...

Yes. I want to know what the connection is.

Robin Weeks said...

Yes--though I'd hope the next few sentences gave me some clue as to how the MC felt about this. The first sentence is very clinical.

nothing said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
stinkyb said...

Yes. Sounds interesting. I want to know more about this person and their family.

Mary Holm said...

Yes. Intriguing and makes me want to know more about this unlucky family.

Stacy McKitrick said...

Yes. Makes me want to find out more about this family.

Megan said...

Yes. I want to know more about this family!

Abbe Hoggan said...

Yes. Clear, direct, and raises interesting questions.

Tori Schindler said...

Yes. A statistical anomaly, fun.

Jenn said...

Yes. I'd read hoping for a strange family tale.

Heather said...

Yes.

This had that intriguing bit of twist I look for. I would change "was" to "am," though. Unless the narrator is dead, he's still the second person....

Wendy said...

A grabber is supposed to, well, grab a reader's attention. This one certainly grabbed my attention.

Danielle La Paglia said...

Yes. It's so completely off the wall in a unique way. I love it.

Cheryl said...

Yes. Funny and slightly horrifying. Also, I like books about families.

Barbara said...

No. Show me. Don't tell me.

Gina Zanicky said...

Yes. Interesting thought.

Aightball said...

Yes. This is something curious to me, since while it does happen, it's not a common occurrence.

Britney Gulbrandsen said...

Yes. What are the odds? I need to know the story behind this.

Dale Ibitz said...

Yes. You have to wonder what's going on!

Jess Crockett said...

Yes! Very intriguing.