Wednesday, January 28, 2015

First Five Sentences: Critique Guidelines

Guidelines for Critique:
  • Please leave your critique for each entry in the comment box for that entry.
  • Please choose a screen name to sign your comments. The screen name DOES NOT have to be your real name; however, it needs to be an identifiable name.  ("Anonymous" is not a name.)
  • Critiques should be honest but kind, helpful but sensitive.
  • Critiques that attack the writer or are couched in unkind words will be deleted.*
  • Having said that, it is perfectly acceptable to say positive things about an entry that you feel is strong.  To make these positive comments more helpful, say why it's a strong entry.
  • ENTRANTS: As your way of "giving back", please critique a minimum of 5 other entries.

Questions?  Leave them below!  Happy critting, everyone!

*I can't possibly read every comment.  If you ever see a comment that is truly snarky, please email me.  I count on your help.

First Five Sentences #25

TITLE: The Killing Moon
GENRE: Urban Fantasy

Atlanta's Piedmont Park was a place to commune with nature. The dead woman hanging in a tree ruined it for me.

Raw poisonous power infected her body, leaving a quicksilver shine to her skin and an angry shimmer in the air like a magic bomb had gone off in her heart. I breathed in death, tasting ashes and tears. She had been tortured.

First Five Sentences #24

GENRE: New Adult Mystery

Jen hated this part. She swished her hips from side to side and sashayed stage right.

"Yeah, baby. Show us what you got," someone yelled from the inky blur beyond the footlights.

Out of sync with the act, the homemade soundtrack finally shifted from faux thunder to the techno backbeat Marv liked to have playing between illusions.

First Five Sentences #23

TITLE: Click
GENRE: YA-Magical Realism

My Aunt Téa answers the phone just as we’re about to leave her creaking house. After briefly listening to the person on the other end, an ominous cloud moves across my aunt’s face. She hangs up, pinches the bridge of her nose, (she always does that to keep from crying) and tells me my dad is missing somewhere along the Amazon River. The phone cut out before she could ask any questions. I notice the trees bending against the gray outside my aunt’s kitchen window, and I wonder if any will snap.

First Five Sentences #22

TITLE: The Great Cookie Caper
GENRE: Contemporary Chapter Book

Amelia tiptoed past her grandma, but grandma was too busy stirring the spaghetti sauce to notice her. Mom didn’t see her either while she kneaded dough. Amelia pulled out the bottom drawer, the one holding the pots and pans, and stood on it with her untied sneakers. The bear shaped cookie jar was just out of her reach. She pulled herself on the tile counter and lifted the lid off the cookie jar, barely making a sound.